IMG_3415Some time in the midst of junior high, I noticed something amazing: girls. From that moment on, I chose to spend most of my time with them. I still had a handful of guy friends, but it was clear to me that girls were smarter, funnier and prettier, so the decision was an easy one for me. From that time, there was hardly a point in my life when I wasn’t in a relationship. I’ve just always been a relationship kind of guy. And for the most part, those relationships were for what would be considered significant periods of time, relatively speaking.

All of this to say, I have a decent understanding of the life cycle of relationships. On multiple occasions, I have made the journey from secret admirer to crush, and from crush to love. I have seen love change. I’ve felt it grow wide, expanding into passion, appreciation and friendship. I have felt it grow deep into loyalty and selflessness.

IMG_1893My relationship with Emily was no different in this regard. We experienced those same cycles of love—that same evolution. The difference, however, is that in the nearly ten years that I knew Emily, I never stopped having a crush on her.

From the first time I saw Emily all the way through the last time (which was three months ago today), I never lost that ridiculous excitement that comes with new love. Even as I type this, I feel the enthusiasm of my love for her. It will never die. Some things are so strong that they last forever.


One thought on “Crushed

  1. My heart breaks for you & there isn’t any way to help! I only knew the both of you thru your blog, yet it seems like that was enough to make my heart hurt seeing ALL you both endured. My bible tells me that God is all-knowing & has our lives planned out, but when things happen that I DO NOT understand, it pains me all the more. I just hope that your blog will continue because something tells me that it will be one of the things that will see you through this immeasurable sadness & loss. My prayers continue for you.

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