One Week (Too Long)

Today marks one week since Emily passed away. That fact seems almost as impossible as her being gone at all. It has been the worst week of my existence.

Emily would not want me to stay in that place, though. Especially not on such a beautiful day.

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a “such a beautiful day” kind of a guy, but Emily was definitely that kind of girl. It was on days like today that she would take a break from work, drive up to Rice University (where I work) and make me take a walk. So, I took a walk today. A co-worker (and great friend) asked if I’d like to grab a coffee at the café on campus, and I ignored my natural instincts and agreed.

The day reminded me so much of when Emily and I took a vacation to Miami. We road bikes and swam in the clear water (the only water Emily would ever step foot in). We also gorged ourselves on Cuban food. When I got to the café, I noticed they served a Cubano (Cuban coffee). I ordered it because it was one of Emily’s favorites that we consumed far too many of while in Miami.

It was not as good as it was in Miami, but it was still good.

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Emily in Florida

When I got home, I went to the gym (because self-care and self-compassion are important when you are grieving). Afterwards, I went to a sandwich shop and got myself a Cuban sandwich to continue the theme.

It was not as good as it was in Miami, but it was still good.

Certainly, Cuban food is better in Miami (or Cuba?), but it was even better because I shared it with Emily. Today wasn’t a good day, but it was a better day. It was better because of the days when Emily was here. It was better because I found ways to celebrate her.

Everything is better because of Emily (even when she’s not here).

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3 Comments

  1. I’m so happy to hear you went for a walk. It is exactly what Emily would have wanted you to do. Her whole life with you was just like a walk. You two spent so many beautiful moments together and even though you are hurting without her, she still strengthens you with her love. God bless you & keep you Bret.

  2. Bret, you and Emily have touched my heart. You have a beautiful love story that not many in a lifetime experience. The love you both shared was always so evident and present when I would talk to you both at the Inglesby’s parties. I hope you continue taking those walks and listening to the Emily inside your heart!

  3. Bret, all I can say is that when you suffer a great loss as you have life will never be the same. But, I can say that with time you will laugh again. Maybe not as loud or as jovial, but it will be laughter all the same. You will one day be able to see something that brings all the memories back to you in a rush that once consumed you, but it will only bring a smile to your face for the love you shared with Emily. She was a bright and shining star on Earth and she is still that bright and shining star. Find her in the nighttime sky and smile for the life you had together. Please know that you are in my thoughts and in my heart. I am here if you ever need to talk.

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