Over the course of the last four months, I have processed my grief on this blog. I have done my best to keep the focus on Emily as much as possible, but the ever-present reality is that she isn’t here anymore; at least not in the same way she was before. My grief, your grief, your empathy and sympathy, our collective feelings, however near or far to the situation we may be, are still here. For many of us, they are part of the new normal, like transplanted retinas warping the way we see every day now. For others of you, those feeling only surface when you read a post. You didn’t know Emily, or me, or Emily and me together perhaps, but you can relate to the humanity of what we are experiencing, and in that, maybe you feel a little more human yourself.
As I continue down this road chosen for me, I want to be respectful of you, my traveling companions. I will continue to write about my experience in this, but there will inevitably be stories and thoughts that involve less of Emily, a truth that breaks my heart every time I think of it. Rest assured, I have an unending stream of Emily memories that will be shared. They play in my mind on a continuous loop. But as I move through this mourning, I also will be sharing things that may be more focused on me, on our family, on our friends, on you (though, for me, Emily is engrained in all of that). With this in mind, if the thoughts that fall out of my fingers onto the keyboard on any given day have less to do with my sweet girl, I will not necessarily post them on her Facebook page. I’m well aware that the best part of me is her, and she is the reason many of you read, so I’ll spare you the dross.
If, however, you are interested in the complete view of this journey, you are welcome to continue to walk along. You can friend me on my Facebook page, where I will continue to share all the blog posts, or you can follow this blog using the follow feature in the bottom of the page. And, of course, when I write something about Emily, I will continue to post it to her Facebook.
As always, I am forever grateful for all the support you all have shown and continue to show. Whether large or small, a phone call or a “like,” it is all incredibly appreciated. I couldn’t walk this road without you.