Bee Mine

Today would have been mine and Emily’s eighth wedding anniversary. I have been thinking about this for weeks, with the usual accompaniment of both sorrow and gratitude. Always more of the latter.

As I’ve been reflecting on our wedding day, I remembered the gift Emily got me to celebrate our nuptials: a painting of a bee. This may seem odd to most, but it was the perfect gift for me. Unique. Quirky. Custom. Local. And, it involved bees, which I’ve always had a fascination with.

Here is the painting and the note still fixed to the back of it:

Did you know?

1. If an older bee is forced by necessity to do the job of a younger bee, their brains not only stop aging, but actually age in reverse. In essence, by acting young, the bee becomes younger. Scientist are actively studying this phenomenon now to understand how similar processes can be used in treating people suffering from dementia.
2. While there are only three types of bees within a hive (queen, worker and drone) there are a multitude of jobs, and bees change jobs as they age. And, with each new tasks, the brain chemistry of the bee changes. Old dogs can’t learn new tricks, but bees do.
3. Not surprising at all, worker bees are all females.
4. Bees communicate through smell and dance. If I were one, the strong message would be, “Something is wrong with this bee.”
5. The flower from where nectar is gathered determines the flavor and color of the honey.
6. Only female honeybees sting. And, unlike wasps and hornets, bees only sting to protect themselves and their hive. Also, a bee’s sting is a “one and done” proposition. Once a bee stings, it will die, but the sting releases a pheromone letting other bees know where the threat is, so that they, too, can protect the hive.

That last one is my favorite. There is something so endearing and moving, that even in facing death, the bee’s instinct is to protect everyone else.

When it became apparent that Emily’s days were numbered and she made the difficult choice to enter hospice care, she had several visitors come to see her at the hospital. This included two of her best friends, Laura and Amanda. I sat with family in the waiting area so the three of them could talk. Laura later told me a bit from their conversation. She asked Emily if there is anything they could do for her, and she replied, “Take care of my Bret Bret.” Even in the face of death … sweeter than honey.

“Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”